There are 5 sessions on at 11:35am on Tuesday the 18th of September, 2007, at Rails Conf Europe.
If you are unlucky enough to be one of those speakers, then I have pity for you.
I should know, I’m one of them, and I have pity for me.
So, I thought I should give a completely unbiased opinion about which of the five sessions you should attend, and which you should avoid like the plague.
Rails Full Text Search with Ferret
By Jens KrÃ¤mer.
Jens is a German, so this conference is a home game for him. The room will be filled with local Germans all wearing their home strip, and will all be chanting and cheering in German throughout. I watched World Cup 2006 on the telly – that’s what they did then, and Jens’ talk will be no different I’m sure. You can’t learn anything with other people chanting and carrying on like its a football/soccer match.
Screenscraping as a Tool for Changing the (Legacy) World
By Jesper RÃ¸nn-Jensen and Mads Buus Westmark.
Jesper and Mads are Danes, from Denmark. A small European country who’s royal crown price recently married an Australian girl. Her father, Dr Donaldson, was my Calculus lecture in 2nd year university. He yelled at me once for talking in class. Whilst not directly Jesper and Mads’ fault, its something to keep in mind.
ActiveRecord and Service Data Objects: Adding New Data Models Beneath Your Rails Apps
By Doug Tidwell from IBM.
IBM is a large country off the coast of all tax-paying countries. Most likely in the Pacific Ocean, as its probably big enough for IBM. Whilst the session talk description is enterprise gobble-de-gook, it probably would be interesting, but I’ll summarise it for you: write specs for your underlying data layer and how they map to the #find and #save methods of ActiveRecord, and bob’s yer uncle.
3rd Partying Issues and Solutions
By Ryan Garver, ELC “Diamond Sponsor” Technologies.
There are three diamond sponsors for RailsConf – ThoughtWorks, Sun Microsystems and ELC. Diamond sponsors are a good thing. Sponsoring things is a good thing. I hope Dr Nic Academy will sponsor things in the future. I’ll talk to the owner about it.
Meta-Magic in Rails: Become a Master Magician
By Dr Nic Williams.
Dr Nic is Australian, so he has a funny slang accent that can be quite awkward to understand, especially when he starts talking very fast. Australia was cheated in World Cup 2006 by Italy who, with 10 seconds left in their round 2 map, dived in the box, got a penalty kick, scored, won the game and went on to win the World Cup. So, logically, if Australia hadn’t been cheated, we’d have won the World Cup instead.
Thusly reenacted here on YouTube:
11.35am on Tuesday might be a good time to grab a coffee, and talk to Chad Fowler about the shame of putting 5 awesome speakers on at the same time as each other.